


Tavros and the Author of 'Out Of His Depth' Make a PSA

by in_fini



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Meta, PSA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 06:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_fini/pseuds/in_fini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A gratuitously meta PSA about mental illness. Not as bad as it sounds.  Probably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tavros and the Author of 'Out Of His Depth' Make a PSA

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Out of His Depth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/293845) by [in_fini](https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_fini/pseuds/in_fini). 



==> Knock on the door.

Okay. You knock on the door. Who are you again?

==> You’re the reader, obviously. Who did you think you were?

Well, of course. It’s a very nice door, you think. It’s a very nice building.

Tavros opens the door. He looms over you in the most unthreatening manner possible. “oH, hI?”

“Hi! I’m a reader!”

“oH YEAH, cOME IN, tRY NOT TO BE TOO LOUD THOUGH, dAVE’S ASLEEP,”

You look at your watch. It’s one in the afternoon. Who sleeps that long? Unless he was up late – doing things. _Sexy_ things –

==> Get your mind out of the gutter and go in.

You were kind of spacing out there! You go in.

“cOULD YOU TAKE OFF YOUR, uM, sHOES, cAUSE, wELL, iT GETS MESSY FAST, wITH SHOES,”

You can do this on your own without pushy arrows telling you what to do, thank you very much. You take off your shoes, looking at the Bay Bridge outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“That’s a really nice view, Tavros.”

“uM, yEAH ACTUALLY, iT’S ONE OF THE REASONS WE CHOSE THIS PLACE, cAUSE DAVE LIKES THE OCEAN,” Huh. Who’d’ve thunk it.

You follow him in your socks over the hardwood floor to the living room and sit down on the black leather couch. Everything is made of clean and simple lines. You admire the somehow sumptuously curving lines of a jade vase mounted on a black shelf next to black and white photographs you suspect Dave took. It’s really a very nice place and obviously Dave has been counterfeiting money or something.

“Hi.” Oh, okay, you did not notice the kitchen as you went in. It’s a nice kitchen, stainless steel and whatever. There’s also a rather short woman, and it’s probably the author or some meta bullshit because look at the title of this thing.

“Want something to drink?” You briefly contemplate asking for champagne and caviar because look at this _place_. They are probably loaded, and you remember that Dave’s a rich douchebag now due to shenanigans with the stock market. You decide not to take advantage of that.

==> Quick, say something!

“Tea! I would like tea, if you have any.” You hope you like tea. That is to say, I hope you like tea.

The author whispers to Tavros, “I don’t know where the tea is.”

“i, uH, tHINK WE HAVE TEA BAGS SOMEWHERE,” And he starts digging through cupboards.

You ask, “So, when are we going to do this PSA thing? Can we do that and then get back to romantic times? I liked the romantic times. Can I call you in_fini?” You are kind of rude!

She rolls her eyes. “Yes you can, and I guess we should do that. Kind of reconsidering though. How about sexy times instead? I like writing sexy times.”

Tavros is pouring hot water over your tea bag into an adorable mug shaped like a panda’s head. He looks up. “bUT I THOUGHT, uM,,, wELL, tHIS WAS YOUR IDEA, aND I AGREED, tO PARTICIPATE, bECAUSE IT IS KIND OF, uH, aN IMPORTANT ISSUE, tO DISCUSS,”

You pipe up. “I can read about sexy-slash-romantic times later, I obviously spend time reading fanfiction anyways. What is this vastly important issue?” In_fini does not seem to appreciate you and Tavros ganging up on her!

“Look, the short girl has something she wants to level with you about. The short girl – that is, me - _fuck this meta shit is stupid, and also memes_. Anyways, I want you to keep it real about…” She looks for a chair to flip backaways, and failing to find one, finishes lamely, “mental illness.”

“What? If I wanted to hear about mental illness I’d read Youtube comments or something. I’m going to go read some yaoi.”

“bUT I JUST FINISHED YOUR TEA, aND THIS WAS AN ISSUE RAISED, iN THE TELLING OF, uM, oUR STORY, tHAT MIGHT LEAVE SOME PEOPLE WITH THE WRONG IMPRESSION,”

==> Just hear her out. Uh, hear me out.

What even is this bullshit. You accept the panda mug and stay on the couch. “Okay, I’m game. Let’s talk about crazy people.”

In_fini takes a deep breath. “So. You may have noticed throughout this fic, and especially in the earlier portions with all the angst and super emo shit, that Dave and Tavros were rather insecure and/or depressed.”

“Yeah, it was kind of blindingly obvious, what with you shoving it in my face and kicking me in my emotions. Dickface.”

“And I totally feel bad about that but I _said_ it was going to get better. Jegus. Anyways, they helped each other deal with their inadequacy complexes and depression, and it was super romantic, all two people supporting each other through their darkest hours and what not.”

“Oh fuck yes, it was so romantic and they were so in love –“

“uM, wE’RE STILL IN LOVE,”

“ _D’awwwwww_. And they loved each other so much and stuck by each other and told each other how much they cared and I got super warm and fuzzy on the inside –“

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Fucking know-it-all authors. What makes them think they know it all? Just cause they wrote the damn thing. “The thing is, that is totally not how you should do it at all.”

“What.”

Tavros sits down on the couch next to you, and the sudden rise of your side of the couch makes the tea slosh in the panda mug. You belatedly drink it. “wELL, tHOSE KINDS OF, uM, mENTAL DISORDERS, sHOULD REALLY BE HELPED BY, uH, lICENSED DOCTORS,”

“Mental disorders?”

“Yeah, see, listen. You know how Dave’s problem was that he always felt inadequate and unworthy and was never good enough, all that bullshit?”

“What about it?”

“And Tavros’ problem was also sort of the same thing only expressed in a different way?”

“Um… yes?”

“Right, so.” She’s refusing to look at you, and Tavros waits patiently, so you do too. “This may or may not come as a total shock to you, but I based a metric fuckton of the angst in 'Out of His Depth' off my own experiences.”

Don’t you feel like a jerk now?

==> Feel like a jerk.

You’re already on it, jerkface!

==> Stop feeling like a jerk long enough to listen.

Okay.

“So yeah. The main difference was that I gave Dave and Tavros reasons to feel insecure and worthless. I felt worthless for no reason at all. That, combined with various other symptoms such as, maybe,” she stalls, fidgeting with her nails, “suicidal thoughts, is called clinical depression.”

This is depressing! You look at Tavros, who pats your hand. “iT GETS BETTER,”

“ _So anyways_ , what I did to fix those issues was nothing, or almost nothing, until I met someone who both gave me a reason to start fighting it and suffered from the problem(s) themselves. And it took us ages to get ourselves over it, and we’re not done yet, and we made _so many_ fucking mistakes along the way. We ended up alright, and so did Dave and Tavros, but the thing is,” she leans over the counter towards you, “we were lucky.”

==> Listen closely, this is important.

“The latest figures show that twenty-two to twenty-three percent of Americans have some sort of mental disorder.”

Oh. Wow. “That’s… a lot.”

She scrubs at her face with her hands. “Yeah, kinda. It’s not all clinical depression, there’s anorexia and schizophrenia and anxiety disorders and all sorts of shit. I’m not an expert, but think about it. One in five people you know have a mental disorder of some kind. You may have one yourself, and not realize it. I didn’t realize it. At this point, I should mention: I have not yet been diagnosed with anything, but I have gone to a counselor who strongly suggests that I attend further sessions.”

“I’m sorry… wow, therapy? You don’t seem that bad to me –“

“aCTUALLY, uM, iF I MAY?”

“Yeah, go ahead. I need coffee.” She pours herself coffee into a mug shaped like a dolphin’s head and drinks it black.

“tHE THING, uM, aBOUT MENTAL DISORDERS, aND ASSOCIATED THINGS, oF THAT NATURE, iS THAT, uH, fIRSTLY, aND MOST IMPORTANTLY, iT’S NOT THEIR FAULT,”

“Um, yeah, I don’t recall anyone saying it _was_ their fault.”

“bUT, tO A PERSON SUFFERING, iT CAN, uH, sEEM THAT WAY. tHERE’S KIND OF A STIGMA, aBOUT MENTAL ILLNESS, wHERE IF YOU'RE SUFFERING FROM, uM, cLINICAL DEPRESSION OR, aNY ONE OF OTHER DISORDERS, yOU’RE LOOKED DOWN UPON, fOR SEEKING HELP,”

“Well, I mean, how many people really _need_ help, they could just like getting high off psych drugs –“

Tavros is shaking his head halfway through your sentence, and shushing you frantically before you finish. You hastily look around to find the source of the death glare burning its way through your skull.

It is a very impressive death glare. “ _I have heard enough of that bullshit from other people_ -“

“hEY, uM, sHHHHH, i GOT THIS, dRINK YOUR COFFEE, sHOOOSH,” The death glare decreases in intensity, enough so that you manage to mouth an apology at her. She stares instead at her mug, and you feel very sorry for the poor disembodied dolphin head.

“tHAT, iS A VERY SILLY THING TO SAY, , bECAUSE EVERY TIME SOMEONE LIKE YOU SAYS THAT, yOU ARE HELPING PEOPLE, _nOT_ GET HELP,,, pEOPLE MAY ALREADY FEEL, lIKE IT’S THEIR FAULT, fOR BEING WEAK AND UNABLE TO FIX THEMSELVES, aND WHEN YOU TRIVIALIZE IT LIKE THAT,,, iT MAKES IT WORSE,”

==> Feel like an asshole.

You don’t feel like taking orders from the arrows anymore! YOU HAVE AGENCY, YOU KNOW!

==> Fine. BE THAT WAY.

You are now the asshole reader.

==> Okay, that was a dick move on my part. Try to be a little more sensitive!

You try to be a little more sensitive, on your own initiative and without prompting by arrows.

“wHEN YOU SUFFER FROM THESE tHINGS, iT’S NOT YOUR FAULT, mOSTLY,,, dISORDERS GENERALLY HAVE, uM, bIOLOGICAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL COMPONENTS TO THEM, aND IF YOU HAVE AN IMBALANCE OF NEUROTRANSMITTERS IN YOUR THINK-PAN, tHERE ARE NOT REALLY A WHOLE LOT OF OPTIONS FOR FIXING YOURSELF, aND MOST PEOPLE WHO SUFFER, i SPECULATE, hAVE TRIED TO FIX THEMSELVES, aND IT DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK,”

“Like I said, I was lucky.” You brave a glance over. She refuses to look at the two of you, apparently ceding the conversation over to Tavros, who continues.

“iF YOU HAVE A DISORDER, oF SOME KIND, yOU SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTING YOUR BRAIN,”

“Pfft. If you can’t trust your brain, what can you trust?”

“ _Exactly_.” She’s finished her coffee and looks absolutely manic. That’s an awful low caffeine threshold!

==> Keep your snark to yourself!

You were! If _the author_ would stop making you out like an asshole in your own head –

==> … Fair enough, I guess. I’ll stop distracting myself you from the conversation.

“wHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED, aND YOUR HEAD TELLS YOU YOU’RE WORTHLESS, aND NOT GOOD ENOUGH, aND, uM, tO qUOTE,,, sOMEBODY, ‘you feel like the dirtiest, smelliest shitstain on the dirty smelly underwear of the world,’ yOUR BRAIN IS TELLING YOU WRONG THINGS, iT’S MISFIRING, iT’S DOING ITS JOB WRONG,,, aND THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. oR IF YOU’RE ANOREXIC, aND YOUR HEAD TELLS YOU THAT YOU’RE FAT, aND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU STARVE OR EXERCISE, yOU CAN NEVER GET SKINNY ENOUGH FOR YOUR HEAD TO LIKE YOU, yOUR BRAIN IS MISFIRING, aND IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT,” Tavros looks deadly sincere. Almost literally. There is probably enough sincerity coming off him to drown all the politicians in Congress.

“So… what do you do?”

“You get some help.” In_fini doesn’t look quite so angry. “It’s hard, and you’d think that everyone will laugh and say you’re being ridiculous if you ask for help. But it turns out, there are more nice people in the world who will help than you realize. And, it turns out, most of the world doesn’t perceive you the way you perceive yourself. And they’re probably right. And fuck the haters. Punch them in the face. Unless cops are around. Don’t get arrested. Or if they're yourself.  That's probably not going to help.”

“aND, iF YOU KNOW SOMEONE, wHO MIGHT HAVE MENTAL ILLNESS,,, bE SUPPORTIVE, aND LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU’RE THERE FOR THEM, bECAUSE, tHAT MAY MAKE MORE OF A DIFFERENCE THAN YOU KNOW,”

“Look for signs; um, I am not an expert, but if their personality changes, or they’re eating less or sleeping less, or more, or other things (like I said, not an expert), then watch out for them. Watch the hell out for them. And,” she’s picking at her nails again, “if they mention suicide, even jokingly, in conjunction with those other things, then you fucking talk to them, and you get them help. Any kind of help.”

“aND, iF YOU HAVE THESE SIGNS, yOURSELF,,, yOU ARE NOT ALONE, tHERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE – mORE THAN YOU KNOW – wHO ARE DEALING WITH THE SAME THINGS, aND NO, aSKING FOR HELP DOES NOT MEAN YOU’RE WEAK, aND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, aT ALL,”

“And thinking ‘other people have it worse, I’m just a whiny little bitch’ – it doesn’t matter how whiny a bitch you are, get a doctor or a licensed, somebody, to confirm that you are indeed just a whiny bitch. If the doctor says you’re okay, congratulations, you’re sane. But if you have a disorder, and you assume that you’re just a whiny bitch – you are not qualified to make that judgment, being not-a-doctor and also mentally ill. If in doubt, _get some help_.”

==> Do this, okay? It’s important. Um, really important. I wish I had realized half the things I just said about five years ago, it would’ve helped.

You acquiesce to the author’s demands (or, I hope you do). You are about to say so out loud when Dave Strider wanders out of the bedroom shirtless and you are completely distracted by this blatant fanservice.

“Hey, in_fini.” She wordlessly points at you, and the black lenses you’ve seen in a million fanarts swivel to look at you.

“Oh, we have company?” He walks right back into the bedroom for a shirt because this is stupid.

“What, I’m not company anymore?” In_fini calls to his retreating, totally sexy back.

“Hell no. You’ve been messing around inside my head for months.”

Tavros takes in your slack-jawed face. “uM, dAVE, wE WERE DOING THAT PSA, i MENTIONED, sEVERAL TIMES,”

“I’m just so distracted by your totally sexy gravelly voice that I forget to pay attention to whatever you’re saying; which really gives me an excuse to keep listening. Yeah, in_fini, I can do fanservice too. Suck it.” He comes back out in a t-shirt, and you are only immensely disappointed.

He jerks a thumb at in_fini as he pours his own mug of coffee (this one’s shaped like a puppy’s head). “Crazy bitch has been projecting her issues onto us the entire time. Shocking, innit.”

“I’m not a crazy bitch! Well, okay, maybe a little crazy –“

“She’s been telling you all about my problems? I have no problems. Life is fucking sweet for me.”

They get into an argument about who’s really to credit for the incredibly sweet life Dave is leading. Tavros smiles at you. “tHEY DO THIS, aLL THE TIME, i THINK THEY JUST LIKE ARGUING,”

You were gonna tell in_fini that you will totally do as she asks because you are awesome, but she’s busy so you just tell Tavros. And you totally melt when he grins and gives you a hug.

“Keep your grubby reader hands off my boyfriend, I have sneaking suspicions about where they’ve been. Mouth-breathing internet troglodytes.”

In_fini smacks him. “Be nice! They’ve been super supportive of you and _all your many, many problems_ on the internet! They’ve even asked for hugs, Dave. They want to hug you.”

“I am willing to admit to personal space issues when it’s convenient for me to do so. Hey, I have personal space issues. No hugs for you.”

“I don’t think you _really_ have personal space issues –“

“Yes I do. I’ve been places your authorial mind cannot fathom, and I will have personal space issues whenever the fuck I want.”

Then they’re at it again. You ask Tavros the question that’s been burning inside your mind for ages: “Why are all your cups shaped like animals? Oh and I guess I should ask about Dirk and Rufio too.”

“oH, tHEY’RE IN SCHOOL RIGHT NOW, oBVIOUSLY, bOTH STRAIGHT-A STUDENTS,” and he beams. “aND RUFIO REALLY LOVES ANIMALS, sO WE BOUGHT A WHOLE BUNCH OF THESE MUGS, aND HE WANTS TO BE A VETERINARIAN,,,” His smile fades. “mAYBE HE CAN, aFTER THE GAME,,,”

You decide not to ask about it because this is obviously a source of great pain and suffering and you are suddenly tactful for once.

“Dave, you missed almost the entirety of our PSA cause you were asleep, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“I regret nothing.” But he caves under the combination of in_fini’s glare and Tavros’ puppy eyes.

“Did you tell them to get help? And be helpful?”

“Yeah.”

He looks over at you. “You should do that then.” He snatches car keys off a hook by the door and slips tennis shoes on. “I’m going to pick up the kids.”

“oKAY, cAN YOU MAYBE GET, sOME MORE TEA BAGS?”

“Kay. See you later, guys.” He leaves. You are once again intensely disappointed that he and Tavros didn’t make out first.

“uM,,, wANT TO LOOK AT EMBARRASSING BABY PHOTOS?”

They are super adorable and embarrassing and the best thing to end this gratuitously meta PSA bullshit on.

THE MOTHERFUCKING END.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want, you can contact me privately on LJ - I have the same username. Sometimes it takes me awhile to respond to messages, but I will respond!


End file.
